


A Toy Story

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Established Relationship, Furby, M/M, Nothing sexual happens w/ the furby, Oral Sex, PWP, Podfic Welcome, handjob, porn without plot/plot what plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 13:55:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15583446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: A few months pass, and Ryan practically forgets about the fucking thing.Until one fateful night.





	A Toy Story

**Author's Note:**

> i present my second entry for the shyan scavenger hunt! i could't resist doing this ridiculous thing when i saw the furby prompt. it was way too much fun to write. also, i struggled so much w/ coming up with a title sdfghjklkhgf
> 
> big thanks to hannah as always, for being the best beta ever! 
> 
> enjoy!

“Hey, Ryan.”

Ryan doesn’t look up. “No.”

“C’mon.”

“No.” He shakes his head, even, and stares pointedly at his laptop.

“It’s a present,” Shane sing-songs. And sure, that makes Ryan curious, but not enough to look. Presents from Shane seldom go well, he’s learned. Presents are usually a prank, an excuse to laugh at Ryan’s expense. Yes, they’re usually pretty funny, but that doesn’t mean he needs to fall for it every time.

Shane continues, “I mean, not a present for you. It’s a present given to me. It’s _awesome_.”

Ryan’s brow furrows. That has him _more_ curious. He sighs and drops his pen onto the tabletop. He swivels in his chair and finally looks over to Shane.

Shane, who is cradling a furby in his arms.

Ryan blinks. “What the _fuck_ is that.”

Shane beams. “It’s my furby!” He holds it out and Ryan slowly takes in the details. It’s black with a white tummy, wrapped up in a red and black flannel. Little clear glasses are somehow perched on its face.

“Is that _you_?” Ryan asks.

Shane nods eagerly. “Yeah! Some fan sent it in, isn’t that awesome?”

Ryan shakes his head. “S’fuckin’ creepy, dude.”

“Nah,” Shane says as he strolls around Ryan’s chair to his own seat. He sets the furby on the table and turns it so it’s staring at Ryan. “It’s awesome. Gotta come up with a name for him.”

“Not a fan of Shane junior?”

“That’s just lazy!” Shane scoffs. “I’ll come up with something great.”

Ryan rolls his eyes. “Whatever, dude.” Despite his exasperation, he leans over and Shane meets him halfway for a kiss. Ryan can’t help but grin into the kiss, and Shane smirks back. “Whatever,” Ryan says again with a blush.

 

Eventually, the furby makes it into their office, along with all their other knick-knacks. They set it on a shelf in the back, mostly out of sight, but of course it doesn’t go unnoticed by fans. Shane takes _immense_ delight in explaining it the minute he gets the chance—which ends up being during a Post Mortem recording—and Ryan just shakes his head all the while.

The hype dies down after a few weeks. Shane still thinks it’s awesome, but he talks about it less, and the fans stop bringing it up aside from mentioning they want to make a matching one for Ryan. (Something he vehemently asks them _not_ to do, thanks.)

A few months pass, and Ryan practically forgets about the fucking thing.

Until one fateful night.

 

 

 

“Oh, fuck, Shane,” Ryan gasps as Shane kisses down his chest. They’re both slick with sweat, August heat clinging to their skin; it’s almost too hot to even _think_ about sex, but Shane had started with teasing, tantalizing, almost _innocent_ touches during a Netflix marathon, and Ryan would’ve been an idiot to resist.

So here they are, sprawled across Shane’s obnoxiously large bed sans any blankets or clothes, slick skin sliding together. Shane works his way down Ryan’s body with gentle kisses and eager nips, until his lips are resting just shy of where Ryan really wants him.

“Shane, c’mon,” Ryan whines, hips bouncing shamelessly. Shane smirks as he turns his head and grazes his lips along Ryan’s cock. “You fucking asshole,” Ryan sighs at the gentle touch.

“That’s me,” Shane says agreeably. He mouths along Ryan’s length, sloppy and wet, until he reaches the tip. He kisses the slit then presses the flat of his tongue against it. Ryan watches as precome wells against Shane’s tongue, faintly white. “Fuckin’ asshole,” he murmurs as his fingers skirt across Ryan’s skin, past his sac to his hole.

“You’re the worst.” It comes out far too fond, so Ryan yanks at Shane’s hair too. Shane only winks up at him, then _finally_ takes Ryan into his mouth. For all his teasing, Shane wastes no time in taking Ryan down to the root. Ryan shudders and bucks up into Shane’s mouth even though there’s nowhere to go.

Shane doesn’t gag, has no reflex to speak of, and Ryan whines when the head of his cock hits the back of Shane’s throat. He shivers when Shane’s finger works between his cheeks to brush over his hole; he won’t press in, not dry like this, but the steady pressure is enough to have stars dancing behind Ryan’s fluttering eyes.

His hips roll against Shane’s endless suction and pushes back against his finger. He can’t decide which sensation is better, can’t decide if he wants more or if he wants to come down Shane’s throat and taste it on his tongue when they share a messy kiss.

Ryan whines again and brings a hand up to his mouth to bite down on another slew of lewd noises. “Shane, fuck, I’m close.”

Shane hums around his length and bobs his head quicker. His finger moves more insistently and Ryan relaxes under him as the urge to be filled starts to consume him from the inside out. Ryan uncurls his fingers from Shane’s hair and reaches for his shoulder, hand flapping inelegantly.

Shane, thankfully, gets the message and pulls back from teasing Ryan’s asshole and gives his hand to Ryan, instead. Ryan yanks his hand up, and thanks the universe for Shane’s freakishly long limbs. Shane’s arm stretches up to reach Ryan’s mouth, but he never dislodges his mouth from around Ryan’s cock.  

Ryan sucks down two of Shane’s fingers and coats them sloppily. He lavishes them with his tongue until spit is dripping between the webbing of his fingers, then shoves Shane’s hand back toward him.

Ryan’s pretty sure Shane is smirking around his cock, but he can’t even bring himself to be annoyed.

Shane picks up where he left off easily. He fits both fingers against Ryan’s hole, shoulders his way between Ryan’s legs to get him spread wider. He doesn’t press in immediately, simply rubs his spit-slick touch over the wrinkled skin until Ryan starts to writhe.

“Shane, _please_ , I’m so close,” Ryan chokes out before biting down on his hand again. He places his hand back on Shane’s head but rather than tangling his fingers in his hair, he combs through the already messy brown locks. A tender touch, as if it might encourage him to go faster, be less of a tease.

It doesn’t work, predictably, because Shane only laughs around his cock. The vibrations are good, though, and Ryan’s back arches into the sensation. Shane pushes one finger into him as his back hits the bed again, and Ryan lets out a shrill moan, surprised and sated all at once. Shane can’t press in all the way, can barely fit the tip of his finger in without proper lube, but it’s enough.

Between the slick heat around his dick and the steady pressure inside him, Ryan comes embarrassingly quick. He grips Shane’s hair and holds him still as he fucks into his mouth just as his orgasm crests. He spills deep into Shane’s throat while muttering a chant of his lover’s name over and over again until he’s breathless.

He goes slack on the bed all at once, and he’s only dimly aware of Shane pulling away. He shivers as cold hair hits his cock, and clenches around nothing once Shane’s finger is gone.

“God,” Shane mutters as he climbs back up Ryan’s body. He goes up the way he came: kissing and marking every inch of Ryan’s body he can reach. Each touch is gentle and fleeting until he gets to Ryan’s lips, where he devours him with a kiss.

Ryan moans into it and curls an arm around Shane’s shoulders. He reaches between them to get a hand around Shane’s cock. Shane lurches forward and tucks his face against Ryan’s neck.

“Not gonna last.” Shane groans it into his skin, then worries a love bite into Ryan’s neck. Ryan knows, distantly, it’ll be too high up to hide, but the thought sort of thrills him. “S’too good,” Shane slurs.

Ryan grins and nudges at his face to guide him into another kiss. Shane kisses him messily, and Ryan can taste the hint of his come lingering on Shane’s tongue. It’s wet and hot, Ryan’s grip wringing a series of cut off gasps from Shane mouth. Ryan presses his thumb at a spot just under the head of Shane’s dick and that’s all it takes.

Shane’s mouth falls open and he presses his forehead against Ryan’s as his whole body goes tense. He shakes as he comes, spilling in streaks over Ryan’s hand and stomach. Shane moans quietly as he rides out the feeling, a string of unintelligible words with Ryan’s name thrown in occasionally.

Shane slumps to the side when he’s finished, but still lays half on top of Ryan. Ryan rolls his eyes but can’t help the affection blooming in his chest.

Shane leans over and kisses him again, softer than before. “I’ll grab a towel.”

Ryan shrugs and twists to lean over the edge of the bed. It’s a bit of a stretch since Shane’s bed is fucking obnoxiously huge, but eventually he finds a shirt—one of theirs from tonight, ripped off in a haste—and wipes his hand clean, then his stomach. He passes the shirt to Shane, then starts to get off the bed.

“If you were gonna get up anyway, why didn’t you just go grab a towel?” Shane asks, voice tinged with exasperation.

“S’too far,” Ryan says as exhaustion settles in his bones. He wanders over to Shane’s closet to find a pair of spare boxers. He digs around in the dresser for a moment, thinks about mentioning to Shane that he ought to reorganize his dressers better, when he hears it.

**_“U-nye-loo-lay-doo?”_ **

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Ryan shouts as he stumbles away from the closet. He staggers backward until he hits the edge of the bed and falls onto the mattress. “What the fuck?”

Shane looks up, startled. “What?”

 ** _“Doo-dah!”_** Comes from the closet.

“What in the actual fuck is that.” Ryan doesn’t exactly ask it; more of a statement, one rife with disbelief and, yes, terror.

Shane stares at his closet for a long minute, confused, before his face lights up with understanding. “The furby!” He scrambles off the bed and hurries over to the closet. Like Ryan before, he digs around for a few moments before hauling out the fucking furby, still in the plaid flannel and clear glasses.

“Oh my god,” Ryan says, falling backward onto the bed. He covers his face with his hands. “You’re the actual fucking worst.”

“Aw, c’mon, don’t talk to him that way.”

Ryan peaks through his fingers to see Shane carrying the furby closer. Painfully aware of his nakedness, Ryan kicks out his legs in a fruitless effort to stop him. “No! Just, just throw that away already!”

Shane shakes his head and cradles it like a child, and image that’s made all the more ridiculous for the fact that Shane is _nude_.

“I can’t deal with this.” Ryan covers his face with his hands again and groans. “This is the worst thing you’ve ever done, hands down.”

Shane laughs. “Wow, that’s pretty impressive, given all the shit you say is the worst.”

Ryan shakes his head. “This definitely takes the cake.”

**_“U-nye-noh-lah!”_ **

Ryan startles again, and Shane laughs. “Will you at least take the batteries out?” He asks.

Shane snorts. “Sure, you ready to see the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen? A furby getting its batteries taken out is like, like those exorcism videos you watch.”

Ryan groans. “I can’t fucking win.”

“I don’t even know where a screwdriver is, anyway.” Shane turns the furby over to inspect the bottom with the battery panel. “I could, uh, lock him in the bathroom?”

“So when I get up to pee at three in the morning he can spout some gibberish at me and I can scream?”

Shane breaks into a grin. “God, I’d love to catch that on camera. We’ll put it in the next Unsolved.”

Ryan can’t help it, he breaks into laughter that quickly dissolves into wheezing. He reaches out and shoves at Shane. “You suck.”

There’s a soft thud, then the bed creaks as Shane leans over and covers Ryan’s body with his own. “You love it,” he murmurs as he kisses him.

“Not the point,” Ryan says in between kisses, grinning bright and wide.

**_“U-nye-way-loh-nee-way!”_ **

“You gotta kill it,” Ryan whispers seriously. He looks into Shane’s eyes, their noses brushing. “For the love of all that is holy, you gotta put it out of its misery.”

Shane rolls his eyes, steals a last kiss, then climbs off the bed. He scoops the furby from the bed and, in all his stark-naked glory, wanders out of the bedroom. Ryan stays put, content to miss out on this particular spectacle. He listens to the faint sounds of the furby talking every few minutes interspersed with Shane bumbling about the kitchen. He listens as everything falls suspiciously silent.

Ryan is just about to get up and go searching when Shane returns. Still holding the furby. Ryan opens his mouth to complain but Shane holds up a finger to shush him.

“Batteries are out,” Shane says. “The evil has been defeated.” He holds it out for Ryan to inspect, flips it over to show off the empty battery panel hanging open. “Now he goes back in the closet.”

Ryan would rather it go literally anywhere else, but he doesn’t argue. As long as it doesn’t talk, everything will be fine. He watches Shane tuck it back into the closet before Shane starts to rummage around in the dresser.

Shane tosses him a pair of boxers and grabs a pair for himself. “You gonna be able to sleep tonight?” Shane teases as he crawls back into bed. “I know that furby was pretty freaky.”

Ryan slaps at him even as they settle in together, comfortable with no covers and legs tangling together. He tries for a glare but knows he misses it by a mile or two. He tucks his face against Shane’s chest instead, even though it’s too hot to really be cuddling this close. They’re going to get even sweatier and it’s gonna suck when they try to get up again. But for now, it’s exactly what Ryan wants.

“Not scared of the furby,” Ryan says belatedly. As he talks, his eyelids grow heavy and he shifts closer.

Shane’s arms wind around him and hold him tight. “I’ll protect you, it’s okay.”

“Fuck. You.”


End file.
